The Best Bed You’ll Ever Own

5.0 out of 5 stars

Better than an anti-depressant, January 19, 2014

All of my previous therapists have tried unsuccessfully to reduce my daily cocktail of 6 anti-depressant drugs. In fact, I’ve had to change therapists so many times because they all insisted on talking about my drug dependency when I wanted to talk endlessly and aimlessly about the dirty looks and snide comments I get from people in the Winn Dixie when I apply my acute haptic perception to selecting fruit. (Come’on now, don’t tell me you’ve never enjoyed the texture of soft but fuzzy peach! And who can resist a long firm cucumber?) But I digress.

Anyway, my current therapist, Dr. Maven A. Dreck and I came to an agreement last month: I will reduce my intake of anti-depressant by 50% if he supported my decision to buy and sleep in the Nicodemus Coffin Bed.Friends, if you too find this world a tough and ugly waiting room pending the big transport to the Planet Fredrayt in the Ongepotchket Galaxy, I promise you too will find temporary peace and solitude from your countless enemies in the peaceful confines of the Nicodemus!