If you haven’t read a newspaper, listened to the radio or turned on a TV in past 30 years, you may not know that TV Evangelist, Pat Robertson thinks that homosexuality is a sinful behavior that people participate in by choice.  Robertson’s inability to see homosexuality as anything but depraved, perverted behavior, has time and again compelled him to suggest that horrendous natural disasters such as hurricanes and earthquakes are a reflection of God’s wrath for society’s tolerance of homosexuality.

The always effervescent, very affluent, always judgmental TV preacher upped the ante today: He suggested that homosexuality was the result of demonic possession. 

Pat informed his followers of this important spiritual insight as part of his celebration of the rehabilitation of a married man who was guilty of having had numerous homosexual encounters.     Of course, Robertson did not discuss the fact that homosexuals in this society are more loyal to their partners than straight people; or that often homosexuality is a leading cause of infidelity in heterosexual marriages.  What do those silly issues have to do with anything?

Nope, Rev. Pat knows best.   Only sinful, evil people engage in homosexual acts that are devoid of love or human decency. Ergo, Pat Robertson is quite sure that homosexuals are demoniacally possessed.  So straight people who sin are not possessed?  

OK PAT, LET ME MAKE YOU AN OFFER YOU CAN’T REFUSE

While I as a gay man am happy and proud of who I am, this homosexual would like to give America’s favorite holy roller a chance to prove his theory: I am willing to subject myself to a public exorcism.  My only condition is that I get to pick who the exorcists are.   If you agree, I’m sure you wouldn’t mind using your connections to recruit the 3 men I have selected to be exorcised by: Jake Gyllenhaal, Ricky Martin and Rafael Nadal.

The Exorcists

I am fully prepared to make myself totally submissive to whatever demands my 3 exorcists wish to make.

How does this sound Rev. Pat?

I will lay naked and bound on your studio floor while Ricky, Jake and Rafael who will of course be wearing the traditional native clerical garb, gold thongs splash holy oil on me and yell:

“Be gone from this innocent body oh demons of hell!”

And BTW, no time constraints on this effort. I’ll submit as long as necessary.

Let me know Pat, here’s a chance to prove your theory before the entire world.